The One Where They Hold Each Other
by HopefulAlways
Summary: A tragic accident, an impossible surprise. The Friends go through everything together. Can they survive all of this? R&R, M&C, P&M, J&A.
1. The Phone Call

**Hi everyone, this is BookWorm94 here. I'm a huge Friends fan and I've seen every episode. I have written one fanfic before. Please check it out! There will be some references in this one to the one I wrote previously. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Friends series or characters. I make no money off of this. I wish I did. I'd be rather rich.**

**Happy reading! R&R please! **

I'm in the kitchen, peeling carrots, when the phone rings. My parents should be at the house any minute- every two weeks they come for dinner. Ross, Rachel, Emma, and Matthew usually come next door too. Chandler is playing with Jack and Erica, who have just turned two, in the living room. The phone startles me, and I shakily lay down the knife before walking across the kitchen to answer.

"Hello?"

"Is this Monica Geller?"

I groan inside. People will not use my married name. It's quite annoying, especially since I've been married for almost five years now. I even have two children, whose last names are Bing. For some reason, I just can't get people to refer to me correctly.

"Monica Geller-_Bing_, yes," I say, obviously annoyed.

"Mrs. Bing, this is Dr. Gene Parry, I work at the New York City Hospital. I need you to come down here as soon as possible. Your parents are here."

Panic rises slightly in my throat and I can't help but squeak, "What's going on?"

"I'm not liable to tell you over the phone, ma'am. I'm calling on behalf of your mother- she's fainted. I need you to come here as soon as possible. I have to go check up on my other patients now. I'm sorry. Please hurry." He hangs up quickly and I can gather that he's a young doctor.

"Chandler!" I yell, whipping around. I walk quickly down the hallway, my hands shaking, into the living room. Chandler is playing 'Horsie' with the kids- Erica and Jack both sitting on his back as he walks around and halfheartedly neighs. Erica is wearing her cowboy hat and boots, while Jack has a cop hat on. Chandler's face is strained.

"What, Mon?" he says, in obvious pain. "I'm getting too old for this…" he mutters.

"My parents are at the hospital. Something's wrong with my dad, they won't tell me what. We have to go, _now_." I lift Erica off of Chandler's back and set her gently on the ground, before doing the same with Jack. Chandler slowly stands up and cringes.

"Okay, Mon. I'll get Erica and Jack's stuff, you get Ross and Rachel. Everything's going to be okay." He hugs me quickly and picks up both Erica and Jack. "Come on guys, let's go get some stuff!" he says excitedly. Chandler can make anything sound like an adventure to the kids.

I walk out the door and stride across the street. I open the front door, not bothering to knock.

Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, looking at Lily, their year old daughter, who is asleep in Mike's arms. It's a sweet picture, one I'd want to photograph if I weren't so upset.

"Mon, what are you doing here?" Phoebe asks, standing up and coming over to hug me. "You feel upset. What's going on?"

"My dad's in the hospital. They won't tell me what's going on. Can you take the kids tonight? Me and Chandler have to go as soon as possible."

"Oh, sure, it's fine. I hope everything's okay," she says, squeezing me. "Tell Rachel I'll take Emma and Matthew too."

I thank Phoebe and Mike and run back across the street, walking into Ross and Rachel's house.

"Hey Mon! How are you?" Rachel says perkily. She's bustling around their living room, picking up toys. How she can manage to look that good while doing housework, I will never know.

"Not good. Where's Ross?"

"Out in the backyard. Why, Mon, what's wrong?"

I ignore her, dashing outside to find my brother sweating over a lawnmower. Rachel follows me.

"Dammit, this thing won't work!" he yells, before glancing up at me. "Oh, hey Mon."

"Ross, we have to go to the hospital now. Mom and Dad are there. They won't tell me what's wrong with Dad." I hear Rachel gasp behind me.

"Oh my God. Okay… okay… okay!" he says. I can tell he's trying not to panic.

"Phoebe's taking the kids for tonight. She'll take Emma and Matthew too." My voice is somewhat calm. I'm surprised with myself. In situations like these, usually by now I'm panicking. I'm reminded of when the twins' mother went into labor, and how I had to sit down so I didn't pass out.

"Okay," Rachel says, disappearing into the house. Ross walks up to me and I hug him, squeezing my eyes shut. Then, we walk into the house, where Rachel holds up two bags of clothes and toys, Matthew and Emma beside her.

"We're ready," she says, and I walk outside with the family. I walk to my own house, while Ross and Rachel hold hands with their children and each other and cross the street.

Chandler has gotten a large bag of clothes and toys for the twins. Both of them are crying, and Erica is still in her cowboy costume. I run to them, and gently take off Erica's getup. Chandler looks embarrassed.

"They wanted ice cream," he says simply, and I nod. I console both of my children with the idea of spending the night at Aunt Phoebe's and Uncle Mike's- they brighten up immediately. We walk across the street and drop off the kids with Phoebe. They promptly begin playing. Phoebe hugs me and Rachel before Chandler, Ross, Rachel, and I walk across the street. We decide to carpool.

Chandler drives. The radio is on, but no one is talking, least of all singing along. We all just squeeze hands and hope for the best.

Forty five minutes later, we pull into the parking lot of the hospital. We pile out of the car. Chandler puts his arm around my shoulder, and Ross and Rachel link hands.

"We're here to see Jack and Judy Geller," Chandler says quietly to the receptionist. She nods.

"Room 228, second floor." She has a sympathetic look on her face. "You're going to want to talk to their doctor first, though. He's right over there. Gene Parry."

We walk over to the brown haired, young doctor, who is sipping coffee and looking tired.

"The Gellers?" he asks, finishing his coffee.

"Yes," Chandler says. He's made himself the spokesman of the group, considering everyone else is a nervous wreck.

The doctor's eyes dim, and he looks down slightly before glancing back up at us.

"I'm sorry, but Mr. and Mrs. Geller were in a car accident this afternoon. Mrs. Geller has only suffered minor arm injuries, but Mr. Geller…" He trails off, and I can tell he's upset about what he has to say next.

"Mr. Geller died in the accident. I'm so sorry for your loss," he says quietly.


	2. The Hospital Room

**Hi everyone, this is BookWorm94 again. Thanks for the reviews, RossnRachel4everr, Ithad2Btold, ****wAlKiNg.3.StEpS.oVeR.hEaVeN., DrKerryWeaver, and Imaginewhatif. I really love reading the reviews, so R&R please! Any ways I can improve my writing are appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Friends characters. I do own Lilly, Matthew, and Dr. Parry though. Ha. Ha.**

I wake up in a hospital bed, Chandler standing over me.

"Hey Mon," he says, with a weak smile. I grab his hands and slowly sit up, trying to adjust to the brightness of the light in the room.

"What happened?" I ask, squinting at him. He squeezes my hands and hugs me. His hug is the best thing I've felt since I heard about my dad. _Oh my God… my dad is dead_, I think.

"You blacked out when the doctor told us what happened. The hospital let us put you in a bed for a few hours. You can leave the room whenever you're ready."

I finally finish adjusting to the light, and slowly climb out of the bed, avoiding the cold metal railing. "Have you visited my mom yet?"

"No, no, I haven't. I figured I should wait for you to wake up. Ross and Rachel are with her, though. She's not doing so well, emotionally, at least from what Rachel's told me. She's been down here a lot, to check up on you, even though you were only out for a few hours. Ross has spent the entire time down in your mom's room. I don't think he wants to leave her."

I nod, taking in all of this information. Chandler helps me out of the bed, and I grab his hand as we walk down the hallway to my mother's room.

"Hey Mom," I say quietly, to the blank woman in the bed. She doesn't look up. She merely stares across the room, at the blank wall.

"Mom, Monica's here," Ross says, touching her arm. He's sitting in a chair next to the bed, hunched over. Rachel stands behind him, her hand on the back of the chair, leaning against the wall. They both have tearstains down their cheeks.

Mom continues to stare. I lean against Chandler, closing my eyes and trying to ignore the tears slipping down my cheeks. _My father's dead and my mom may as well be comatose._

We stand there, me fully dependent on Chandler to hold me up, until Dr. Parry comes in.

"Mrs. Geller? We just got the results from your x-ray back from the lab. It appears that your arm is broken in two places. We'll need to put a cast on you as soon as possible. In the meantime, in a few minutes a nurse will come in with lunch. I hope you feel better." The doctor motions for Chandler, Ross, Rachel, and I to come outside the room.

"I've also noticed some depression symptoms in your mother, which is not surprising in the least. Anyone suffering bone damage and experiencing grief at the same time usually goes through this. I've put her on Zoloft, which is an antidepressant. I need you four to watch her and make sure she doesn't do anything."

We all stand gaping around the doctor, confused and upset.

"Do you honestly think my mother would commit suicide?" says Ross after a minute. He's indignant.

"She seems like normally she would be a strong and non-impulsive woman, Mr. Geller, but she's gone through a lot of trauma."

"First of all, it's _Doctor_ Geller, and second of all, my mother is not stupid enough to do something like that!" Ross replies, even more offended.

"Ross, honey, that means something here," Rachel says quietly, putting a hand on his arm.

"Dr. Geller, I'm sorry if I've offended you. I'm just stating that there could be a possibility that your mother would try to do something that she normally wouldn't do. I'm not saying she would do it, but she could. I need to check up on my other patients, Dr. Geller. And here comes the nurse with lunch," he says, as a woman in pink scrubs comes by carrying a tray. "Please just watch out for me." He walks away from us.

We all walk slowly into the room. The tray is on my mother's lap, but she hasn't eaten anything. The nurse in the pink scrubs glances at us before saying, "Mrs. Geller, please eat." She sighs and looks at my mother once more before leaving the room.

Ross sits down in his chair again, while Rachel and Chandler go out to see if they can get more chairs in our room. I sit down on the end of my mother's bed, blocking her view of the wall. She doesn't seem to notice. When Rachel and Chandler get back, Rachel carrying a chair and Chandler carrying two, we all sink into them, falling asleep. I resume a post at the other side of the bed, across from Ross.

In the middle of the night, I wake up suddenly. My mother's hand rests against mine. The clock reads 3:47 a.m.

"Monica," my mother says weakly.

"Hi, Mom," I say, in a quiet voice. I halfheartedly smile at her.

"Monica, please don't wake the others."

"I won't," I promise. I squeeze her hand lightly.

"Monica, I caused your father's death."


	3. The Drive Home

"What?" I say loudly, causing my mother to hush me in her weak voice.

"Your father. I let him drive. You know how he is…was…" she takes a deep breath, "on the freeway- always speeding and swerving. I let him drive just tonight, and then he hit the guardrail and he died. It's my fault. I killed my own husband. Oh my God…" she says, burying her face in her hands. The gutwrenching sobs break my heart. Soon, tears are running down my cheeks.

"Mom, you didn't kill Dad," I say, choking up. "He did it himself."

"It's my fault, I shouldn't have let him drive," she says, sobbing quietly.

"Mom, please. Don't," I say simply, "ever say something like that again." I pull her close to me, kissing the top of her head as she sobs into my shoulder. It's like we've reversed roles. We lay there, halfway asleep, until morning.

"Monica?" Ross says quietly. He always was an early bird- the sun has hardly risen and he's already wide awake.

"I'll tell you about it in a few minutes," I say softly. I gently lay Mom's head back on her pillow, and cover her up with a blanket. After I wait, and she doesn't wake up, I nod at Ross and slowly get up. We wake Rachel and Chandler, both who protest at being awoken early, and walk downstairs to get breakfast.

"She really thinks it was her fault?" Rachel says incredulously, sipping a juice box. I nod, spooning some applesauce into my mouth.

"I guess the doctor was right about the depression thing," Ross says quietly. Rachel squeezes his hand. I know my brother hates admitting defeat.

"I'm sure she'll be okay," Chandler says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I lean against him.

We all walk back to Mom's room silently. As we begin to enter the room, Dr. Parry comes out.

"Hi everyone, I was just explaining to your mother our agenda for today. We need to put her into a cast for her arm, and then just get her a prescription for some painkillers and the Zoloft, and she'll be ready to go home. May I suggest she stay with one of you four for a while? I don't think she's ready to be on her own yet, although she is doing better than yesterday. Also, the hospital is sending the grief counselor in to talk to her and any of you if you feel the need to speak with her. You also need to start planning the funeral arrangements," he says. Dr. Parry strikes me as a well-meaning, although inexperienced, doctor.

"That should be fine," Chandler says. Ross is speechless.

We enter the room. Mom sits upright, sipping some apple juice.

"Hi Mom," Ross says, brightening a bit.

"Hello sweetie," she says quietly, glancing at him. I have to admit, we've made some progress from yesterday.

"They're going to put your cast on today, Mom," I say, trying to sound brighter than I feel.

"I know. I hope they hurry up. I'm sick of being stuck in this room," she says. I smile and walk across the room to hug her. She sounds like her old self. "Monica, what's happened with your hair?"

I laugh and roll my eyes in Ross' direction, who smiles. My mother might be back.

--

After they've put my mom's cast on and have officially released us from the hospital (after my mother refused to talk to the grief counselor), we all go out to the car. We climb in, and Chandler once again drives. Everyone besides Chandler and I fall asleep.

"Mon, you okay?" he says quietly to me as I lean back in the passenger seat.

"I don't know. We have to plan the funeral today, don't we?" I say back.

"Start on it, at least. I'm worried about your mom."

"Who isn't?" I say, squeezing his hand. I know my husband doesn't like my parents much, but at least he cares.

We ride in silence for an hour or so until we reach my parents' house. Chandler and I wake Mom up and take her into the house. She grabs a few essentials. I notice how quiet she's become again.

We drive back up to our house, which takes an hour and a half, since we've just hit rush hour. Chandler taps nervously on the steering wheel. He hates to drive through the city. It scares him. I don't think my parents' accident has helped.

Finally at home, we wake up everyone and trudge out of the car. It's decided quickly that Mom will stay with Ross and Rachel. She takes her things into the house, while the four of us walk across the street to get the kids.

"Monica! Rachel!" Phoebe gasps when we open the door.

"What, and we don't get any recognition?" teases Chandler.

"Oh, never mind that! Thank God you guys are back! Your kids are driving me crazy," she says bluntly. We stare at her. "Just kidding! What happened?" Her perky voice immediately goes to concern. We explain the entire sad story.

"Oh my gosh. Well believe me, if you guys need me to watch the kids whenever, just let me know. God… do I need to make a casserole or something? Isn't that what people do?"

We laugh at her, one of the few times in the past couple days that I have done so. Holding an asleep Erica and a drowsy Jack, Chandler and I walk across the road. We climb the stairs, put our kids to bed, and trudge into bed. I lay in Chandler's arms, as usual, thinking about where life will take me next. So much has happened in the few years- getting married, going through adoption, getting the twins, baby Jack's leukemia- I surprise myself how I get through things like this. Everyone thinks I'm the strong one in the family, but really, I am the weakest. I just don't let it show.

Chandler rubs my back. I kiss his bare shoulder and snuggle closer to him.

"What are you thinking?" he whispers.

"Just about everything… everything," I whisper back.

"I know what you mean. There have been so many surprises for me… falling in love with the most amazing woman on the planet-" I blush- "marrying her, trying to have a baby and adopting one with her, finding out it's twins, the cancer… and now this. I know your dad wasn't that fond of me, but I never had a problem with him. He was a great guy and I know you loved him so much. I just… I hope you know that we'll make it through this, like all that other stuff. We will, and we'll come out changed, but we'll still be our family." Chandler sighs and I squeeze him.

"I love you," I whisper.

"I love you too," he whispers back, and I can hear the smile on his face.

We fall asleep together, him slightly snoring, me slightly smiling. With all the things that have happened to us, we're still the happy couple we were almost 7 years ago.

A/N: No reviews for chapter 2? Bah, that makes me feel so unspecial! Keep it up people!


	4. The Recieving Line

**Awww, thanks for the reviews you guys! I woke up this morning and there they were. Thank you, emmageller, DrKerryWeaver and Ithad2betold. And here's the chapter…**

"Monica, which do you like, the oak or the maple?"

"Monica?"

I snap out of my daze. We're standing in the funeral parlor, looking through a selection of coffins. It's so sinfully boring that I can't stay awake. I've decided to be cremated when I die- I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

"Uhh, the oak. It looks better."

"I agree," my mom says, which surprises me. She's been better on this whole funeral thing than I expected. She hasn't had an episode since that night at the hospital. I, however, have been crying off and on for days. The wonders of hormones combined with your father's death.

"Well, Mrs. Geller, Ross, Monica," the salesperson nods to each of us, "I think we're pretty much done here. I'm very sorry for your loss."

We say our thanks and leave. As soon as we get into the car, Mom opens her mouth.

"What a _depressing_ job!" she cries, leaning back in her seat. Ross laughs and I grin.

"Yeah, that would be pretty sad," Ross agrees.

"I mean, it's bad enough the poor woman has to be a salesperson, but to sell funeral accessories! That's just… pathetic!" Mom shouts to the ceiling. We laugh. Mom's back, for now.

--

Ross drops me off at my door, then goes home to his family. I make a quick dinner for Jack and Erica- mashed potatoes and applesauce (they're teething) and then scarf down a protein bar. Chandler walks in from work and immediately looks at the dinner table. "No food?" he asks innocently.

"We have to go to the visitation in a few minutes," I say, licking the granola crumbs off my fingers.

"I never want a visitation when I die. I just don't want people staring at me in my coffin."

"I'd rather be cremated. It just seems better."

Chandler kisses my forehead and goes up to change. I attempt to pick up both of the twins, but fail miserably.

"Chandler!"

He comes rushing down, his tie around his neck.

"Can you watch the babies for a second? I have to change!"

"Why didn't you just bring them upstairs?" he grumbles, attempting to quickly do his tie.

"I don't know… my back hurts. Really badly," I admit. He nods and I run upstairs to change into my black formal dress. The neckline is extremely modest for my tastes, but it's my dad's funeral. I can't exactly show things.

After I change, I step on the scale. I gasp. Shocked, I put on my shoes with trembling fingers and walk slowly downstairs.

"Monica, you look like you've seen a ghost," Chandler remarks.

"I've gained eight pounds in two weeks," I say quietly.

"Come on, honey, you know you look fine."

I merely nod and pick up my son. "You are either getting heavier or I'm getting way too weak to do this job," I say to him. Chandler smiles. I hoist Jack up on my hip and take him upstairs to get dressed. Chandler follows with Erica.

--

Two hours later, we're standing at the front of the funeral parlor with Ross, Rachel, Emma, Matthew, and Mom. Phoebe, Mike, and Lilly are sitting on the chairs behind the receiving line. The line curves around the room, flowers everywhere. I haven't looked at my dad yet. I can't bring myself to do it.

"Your father was a wonderful man," says a woman, shaking my hand.

"Oh, and how do you know him?" I ask.

"He was my boyfriend from freshman to junior year in high school. He was a great man," she says. My mouth drops open and I rush the woman to leave.

"I can't believe some of the people who come to these things!" I say.

Ross laughs. I kiss the top of Jack's head, which is (thankfully) covered in hair, and move onto the next person. It's Joey.

"Joey!" I say, hugging him quickly. He squeezes me and kisses my cheek.

"Hi Mon… I'm so sorry about your dad," he says to me and Ross. We nod, and Ross hugs him before asking how he got here so fast.

"Well I know we were going to fly out tomorrow for the funeral, but I figured you guys needed us here, so here we are." Alex appears behind him, holding a newborn baby. "And, we wanted you to meet… Alisa Rachel Tribbiani," he says, glancing down at his daughter. Rachel looks up, hearing her name. Joey and Alex smile and walk over to her, introducing her. Rachel squeals and takes the baby from Alex.

Finally, after everyone but Mom and the guys have left, I walk over to the coffin. My dad half-smiles, looking pasty white and wearing…

"Is that eye makeup?!" I shout, causing Chandler to come over.

"I think it is," he says in a sarcastic tone. He rubs my back and then goes over to sit with Phoebe.

I stare once more at my dad. He looks nothing like himself. I stand there, remembering everything. The time he pushed me on the swingset, when I was seven and weighed more than Ross. The time he took me and Ross out for ice cream when my mom was feeling sick. The time he put me to sleep and tucked me in when I was so hung up about Richard. Dancing with me at my wedding, admiring his new grandchildren, kissing my forehead before he left after dinner every two weeks. There will be no more of that- he won't be there when Jack and Erica go into kindergarten, or graduate, or get married. He won't be there if Chandler and I ever have any more children. He won't be there with my mother, the calm and funny one of the pair. I didn't know how much I needed him until he was gone. How do I go through life without him?

Tears are quickly running down my cheeks. _My dad is dead. My dad is dead. My dad is dead. _


	5. The Funeral Day

I stumble over to where Chandler and everyone else is sitting, falling on the chair beside him. He looks up and a look of concern comes across his face.

"Mon? Are you okay?" he asks.

"No, no, no," I stutter, getting closer to him. I suddenly feel very cold. My mind is racing. _My dad is dead. My dad is dead. My dad is dead._ I feel a panic attack coming on- I haven't had one of these in years.

"Monica, what's going on?" he asks again.

"No, no, no," I say again. I can't even help what's coming out of my mouth now. _My dad is dead. My dad is dead. My dad is dead._

"Sweetie, what's the matter?" Rachel says, coming behind my chair and wrapping her arms around my neck, hugging me.

"My dad is dead, my dad is dead, my dad is dead!" I say quietly, rocking back and forth. My friends stare at me. I'm the calm one, I always have been. They're not used to this new Monica, who sobs and rocks back and forth like a mental patient. I try to quiet the huge sobs coming out of me as I lean against Chandler, enveloped in his arms. Ross comes over and sits next to me. With Chandler's nod, he takes me from him and hugs me, crying as well. Rachel and Chandler are nearby. Phoebe, Mike, Joey, and Alex are all looking at us, but I don't care. They're my friends. My dad is dead. They'll understand.

After a while, after Ross and I have quieted down, after all I am doing is wiping some stray tears off of my cheeks, Rachel and Chandler come over, hugging us. Phoebe, Mike, Alex and Joey come too. Phoebe sits down on the floor and hugs my leg, while Mike hugs my shoulder. Joey and Alex hug Ross and Rachel. Chandler kisses my forehead and strokes my hair. _My dad may have died, but I still have all the family I could ask for._

--

At home, Chandler and I head to bed after putting the twins down. Jack falls asleep quickly in his crib. Erica stays awake longer, needing some shaky singing (on my part) to get her to sleep. Chandler wraps his arms around me and we walk down the hallway to our room. We climb into bed and sleep.

In the morning, Chandler is the one who wakes me up. I bat him away. "It's Saturday," I groan.

"We need to get ready for the funeral," he says gently. I groan more.

"Do I have to go?" I ask. His snort is my only answer. Slowly, I climb out of bed and take my shower. I weigh myself again.

"Chandler?" I say fearfully.

"What, Mon?" he says, appearing in the doorway, holding both Erica and Jack.

"I've gained another two pounds," I say upset. His eyes bulge out, and I can tell he's embarrassed about it.

"Well, go ask your doctor about it on Monday. You have an appointment then, right?"

"Yeah," I say, turning away. He follows me.

"Hey," he says, putting down Jack and Erica and putting a finger under my chin, pulling my face towards his, "you're still the most beautiful girl in the world."

I scoff and kiss his cheek before heading to get dressed, putting on my black dress from last night. I dress the babies- Erica in a yellow dress and Jack in a blue dress shirt and khaki pants. I know my dad would have wanted it that way. I put a barrette in Erica's hair and smooth down Jack's lumps before kissing them both on the top of their heads and sitting them down in front of Dora the Explorer in the living room.

I go back upstairs and tie Chandler's tie for him. He smiles and we hold hands as we walk downstairs and put the stroller in the car before grabbing the kids and fastening them in their carseats.

"You look handsome, yes you do!" Chandler says, strapping Jack into his carseat. When I turn to him and stare, he looks back. "It's things like that that make me seem gay, isn't it?" he says indignantly. I laugh.

"It's sweet," I say, patting Erica on the belly before climbing into the passenger seat. As Chandler starts the car, I tell him to hold on and run inside to grab a protein bar.

"I'm so damn hungry!" I say, stuffing half the bar in my mouth as I climb back into the car. Chandler just laughs and starts up the car. We drive to the church and take seats in the front row, next to Ross, Rachel, Emma, Matthew, and Mom. The preacher starts the service. I don't feel a thing. It's obvious he didn't know my dad. The tears start to fall, though, when Ross climbs the stairs and stands behind the pulpit.

Ross clears his throat. He speaks in a soft tone. "Hello everyone. Thanks for coming out here. I know a lot of people who came a long way to be with me and my family right now, so thank you so much. I'm sure my father would appreciate it.

"My father was an amazing man. He wasn't the usual definition of 'amazing'- he wasn't a medical genius or a mathematician or a writer of any sort. He was a regular man who worked a boring job and played golf on Tuesdays. No, his 'amazing' was something special- his 'amazing' was being himself. My father cared about his children and grandchildren to the extreme. When I was six, my dad started to teach me how to ride my bike. He made me wear a helmet, two layers of knee- and elbow-pads, and a foam padding under my hard helmet. He and I both thought I would be invincible. Even so, when I fell off the bike and skinned my ankle in a complicated twist, he lifted me onto his back and ran home. He applied a ton of anti-infection cream and put two Band-Aids on my ankle, and then we went out and tried bike riding again. He always taught me to persevere. He didn't even laugh when I told him I wanted to major in paleontology, not engineering, like I had planned. He paid for my college and was the first one I thanked when I got my Ph.D. I loved him so much, and I know he loved me and Monica as well. I will miss my father dearly, as he is the role model in which I follow. I can only hope that one day, I will be as good a father, husband, and brother as my father once was."

Ross steps off the podium and walks down the steps, wiping tears off his cheeks as he walks. I am sobbing by this point.

The preacher ends the service and we go to the cemetery, watching as they lower my father's casket into the ground. I bury my face in Chandler's shoulder and hug Erica closer to me. We stand there by the gravesite until it is just us, just my friends and my mother and our children. We stand there for several minutes, not speaking. Finally, it is Mom who speaks up.

"I could really go for a cup of coffee right now."

Chandler looks up and half-smiles. "Where?"


	6. The Family Afternoon

_A month after Jack's funeral._

My back hurts. I'm bending over my garden, weeding it as carefully as possible. Today we haven't done much as a family. It's just a summer morning. Chandler has taken the day off and is playing with the twins a couple yards away, on the swingset. I smile and wave at the kids, who wave and yell back. I look over the fence, and I see Rachel and Ross standing together outside. I'm about to say hi, but then I hear them talking.

"Ross, your mother is driving me crazy! I know she's been through a lot but I need my house back! I need my own space without her cleaning it all up after me or criticizing my clothes or what the babies are doing! I need to be able to send the kids over to Monica's or Phoebe's so you and me can have some alone time! I need to be me again!" Rachel yells at my brother.

"She's been through so much, Rach. You can't just kick her out right now!"

"I know! Could we put her in a home, or- oh my gosh, I know just the thing. She could live in one of the condos down the street! Those are so inexpensive and she could have her own place and she could be out of our way!"

"Rachel, the doctor said not to let her be alone."

"But she'd live down the street! It wouldn't be far away at all!"

"Rachel…"

"Ross, I need to be able to kiss my husband without feeling shy, or be close with my husband. Please think about it," she says, kissing his chin.

He smiles and wraps his arms around her waist. They proceed to kiss. I duck down so I don't have to watch. The thought of my brother with anyone still kind of grosses me out.

Chandler comes over, leaving the kids swinging.

"Honey, are you okay? Your face is really red."

"I'm fine… I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'll ask about my back pain then."

"Okay. Why don't you go swing with the kids? I'll weed."

I laugh. "You don't know the system!" I tease.

Chandler grins and kisses my sweaty forehead before bending down and starting to weed. I look at him for a while before he looks up. "What?" he asks.

"Nothing," I say, smiling. _I'm so damn lucky._

Chandler looks a little creeped out. I pat his back and walk over to the swingset. "Erica, Jack, do you guys want to help Mommy make lemonade for Daddy?" I say quietly, so Chandler doesn't hear me. The kids grin and wiggle out of their swings and grab my hands as they walk with me towards the house. Chandler waves.

We make the lemonade, and the project evolves into much more. When Chandler comes in an hour later, the kitchen is covered in flour, sugar, and chocolate chips.

"We make cookies!" says Jack. Erica laughs at him.

"I can see that," Chandler says. He stands wide eyed in the doorway. I smile at him and point at the lemonade.

"We made you a drink, too," I say. Chandler laughs and wipes the sweat off his forehead.

"Is there any chance of some tequila in here?" he murmurs to me. I shake with laughter. We take the kids into the living room and play with them before I start dinner. After serving pork chops for the adults and cheese sandwiches for the kids, with both having mashed potatoes, we sit around the table. I smile at my two children and at my wonderful husband.

As we're putting the kids to bed, Jack looks up at Chandler. "Daddy, what's tequila?"


End file.
